these shining lights

dearest all,

i have for you a story that is as long as it is true:

it is a dim day, and i am picking slowly through it when i see a certain glow. i am excited. i love these floaty globs of light. like a luminescent swiss cheese, or maybe some king of mushroomy lightbulb. they are warm, this one especially so, and i look deep into these hollows in the light. it takes some time for my eyes to adjust. what seemed quietly inviting has taken quite a grip on me, and all i can see is the light, and now i am looking deep into these eyes. a certain darkness, cold and dry, unlike the air, goes on seemingly without end. after looking into this abyss for some years, i see a glimmer of light, but it is gone as soon as it appeared. but there it is again, and again. i am leaning closer trying to see what it could be, and i lose my balance for a split second. i jerk back; feet on solid ground again, and a certain smell becomes apparent. i'm sure it has been there all along- the purulent stink- but i was too entranced by the lights. and then i see it, crouching, dripping in the corner, recoiling from even the idea of being seen.

later, far away, i ponder this creature; simultaneously demanding and shrinking from sight, from attention.

maybe it is no creature. maybe this is something that i should be used to by now, having lived here for all these years. maybe this is just the first time i lost my balance, and glimpsed behind these shining lights.

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update: i've submitted this drawing to Illustration Friday. the weekly topic being "mesmerizing." hopefully this first submission there will be the first of many. but as with all things, it is up to the sparrows.